Embarrassing Much!
by amethystblack061
Summary: NOT Yaoi. To say that walking in on someone who has their hand down their pants is embarrassing is a complete understatement... To not wholly grasp the situation is another... One Shot COMPLETE


**HELLLOOOOO PEOPLE! Long time no see!**

**I am such a bad author, I left you all for almost two years! (I think) BUT I do have some happy news, I wrote this story! which just came into my head and wouldn't leave until I finished it, so here it is, though it is a bit akward how it ends. You will probably all notice a very distinct improvement in my writing, well that folks comes from one year of AP english ('08-'09) and two years of college papers! bwahahaha! though I'd still like you to point out any errors you might find since this is un-beta-ed.**

**So Disclamer- I do not own Naruto characters, I do own the plot, and the character Kai (I needed _someone_ ok) **

**Another note- this is NOT yaoi, mostly friendship. It could develp into something later. ALSO this is a NON-MASSACRE fic, but I've twisted it into my own version. I might do a story strictly for that later. If you're waiting on my other fics, please see the note at the bottom. Thanks for your patience if you've stuck with me and enjoy!**

**Embarrassing Much!**

To say that walking in on someone who has their hand down their pants is embarrassing is a complete understatement…

Unfortunately for Uzumaki Naruto, that is exactly what happened to him…

It all started one bright and sunny morning with the Konoha's number one knuckleheaded ninja and Konoha's number one emotionless bastard sparring. This wasn't ordinary though, for starters the sparring chaos usually began at nine o'clock, not _eight, _then usually when they sparred chunks of earth would fly, the ground would shake, citizens would run in terror, and at the end Kakashi would have to come in-between them at the personal risk of death, force them to stop, and mutter about having to repair the fields _again_ before going back to his safe spot. But _today_, today Kakashi didn't even want to be within a _mile_ of the place, such was the ferocity of the spar. He could completely understand why Sasuke would want to "up his game," after all his brother had just gained _another_ promotion within the ranks of Anbu, and word was spreading fast that he might be in consideration for the next Hokage after Tsunade was done. Perhaps that was why Naruto was attacking his hardest as well, he wanted to become better than Itachi so as to eschew his chances of becoming Hokage before he did.

He sighed, looking up from his book towards the sky, in the distance there was a massive cloud of dust pluming up from the training fields. For certain by the time they would be done with their spar the grounds would be irreparable. Kakashi snapped his book shut and stood from his position. If the common link between the two was outdoing Itachi, then only Itachi could possibly stop them. At least that meant that he wouldn't be the one to break up the fight. He took off to begin his search for the young progeny, unaware that he was already looking at the sight himself in the distance…

***Itachi***

The morning had been quite pleasant, the shifts were organized, the teams had begun their training at promptly five o'clock in the morning, and his favorite shop had given him an extra stick of dango for being such an excellent patron. Today was unnervingly perfect in the young Uchiha's mind, which was why it didn't surprise him when a very agitated young officer burst into the Anbu headquarters at a few minutes past eight to report a strange phenomenon.

"Huge shakes, and stones crashing down from the sky! I don't think many of our members have felt such fear for their lives since the Orochimaru incident almost three years ago! And the citizens! Not to mention no one can get their teams to run through the drills without something crashing down, and we've checked the books but we don't know whose got that field booked for right now, so we don't know who we're dealing with. We've had to evacuate every personal within one mile of the place, and even then it looks like we'll have to back them off even more! Those damn cowards won't get close enough to investigate, I don't know what to do anymore! Taisho what would you recommend?"

Itachi looked up calmly at the shaking officer in front of him, he recognized him instantly as Kai, a young brilliant operative that had risen through the ranks quickly. There was something that wasn't being told here, the way he hesitated, and the way he had become so unnerved when he never even flinched at a kunai thrown so accurately that it gave him a slight haircut. He shook his head and stood up, bewildering Kai, if he was like this, it was no wonder that his Anbu were chaotic, this problem was too big to be handed to someone else, to cause such raucous behavior in a way that unnerved the highly elite members of Konoha, it was best that he take care of it personally. After all he was Uchiha Itachi.

"I will deal with the matter promptly, thank you for alerting me to this issue."

Kai saluted to Itachi and vanished in a puff of smoke and leafs. If the Anbu were in as rough of shape as he thought, it would be weeks before they would be ready to do any major missions, his face turned thoughtful as he slightly opened the blinds of his offices windows, out in the distance towards the training grounds was a massive cloud of dust and debris, now that he thought about it, he could even feel the slight tremor of the earth that seemed in sync with the growth of the cloud. This wouldn't be easy, but those young reckless fools had to be dealt with. He hoped that they weren't Anbu members, if they were that would mean a lot more paperwork, probably enough to miss Sasuke's upcoming birthday. He shook his head and turned from the sight, noticing a much more violent spasm of the earth, when he got his hands on those idiots, of course the Hokage would want to deal with them too, but, with a crash one of his pictures fell from the wall, he would make sure that whoever they were they would never want to behave so childishly again.

He ran as soon as he hit the ground floor of the Anbu headquarters, jumping and weaving in and out of panic stricken people. They never even saw him as he splashed accidentally through a puddle of water, that was how fast the ninja was. He could see the tiny genin flocking together, fearing some form of attack, and their Jonin teachers clustering together murmuring about who could possibly be making such a mess. The situation was bad and becoming much worse, the ground was now shaking so hard that cart vendors had a hard time keeping their wares steady, and a few chunks had already fallen from the older buildings. If this were to continue, the idiots could probably level Konoha (again) within a few hours. This prompted Itachi to speed up, and loose focus slightly on his environment. Unfortunately for him that was exactly when Kakashi decided to appear… right in front of him.

"Yo" Kakashi said grabbing the Uchiha and forcing him to a halt, a few seconds later and he would have crashed right into him.

"Kakashi-sempai" Itachi curtly nodded "I regret that I am in a big hurry, I am sorry" he tried to extricate himself from Kakashi, but to no avail. "Please let go"

"I thought you might want to know whose making such a mess" Itachi stilled at his words, looking up to prompt Kakashi to continue. "It's your brother." Itachi nearly lost his composure "and his best friend" it was impossible that Sasuke could be the one doing this, hadn't he taught him any better? Naruto he could understand, but why would the pair of them be making such a mess. Kakashi released him "I suggest you go, though they might not be to thrilled to see you now that I think about it" then he started to walk away.

"Why is that?" Itachi looked at him, still not understanding the situation.

"You'll see" Kakashi shook his head and began walking away again, nose in his book.

If only Itachi had listened to his words…

***Training Grounds Three***

It was a surprise that the two fighting could see anymore. The thick dust formed a heavy veil over the now very uneven ground, all animals had fled from the area in terror as their home was destroyed. Hardly a tree stood, and if one did then it was a particularly damaged one, filled with massive indentations. Broken weapons littered the ground and crashes filled the air as a figure fell to the ground panting and was hit with a kunai, instantly they vanished into a cloud of smoke. The pattern was being repeated over and over within the contents of the field, as the only two solid figures kept multiplying themselves and destroying themselves to best each other. It had all started simply enough, as they both arrived at the grounds for their nine o'clock session with their team at eight.

"Stupid showoff aniki." Sasuke scuffed the ground and looked over to the approaching dobe, he was a good deal taller than he had been in their genin days, but still as obnoxious as ever, even though when he had first returned with Jiraya he had been calmer and had a deeper pitch to his voice. His boisterous attitude was like sandpaper rubbing against his skin towards his nerves, he had hoped that Naruto, like Sakura, would have grown up to at least some measurable degree. Sadly (in his opinion anyways) he had not, and in fact, if anything he had just become more perverted and immature like his sensei.

"Yo teme!" Naruto called now picking up his pace, as soon as he was close enough, he tried to hit Sasuke over the head "what the hell does your older brother think he's doing? I'm the next Hokage! Tsunade-baa-chan promised it to me!"

"Dobe, get off, what are you talking about?" Naruto was whining in increasingly pitchy increments.

"Everyone is saying it! They're saying 'That Uchiha Itachi really will make one awesome Hokage' what the hell am I chopped liver? Who defeated Pein? Who took down Kakuzo? Who is the strongest ninja in the village? Me!"

Sasuke snorted "Dobe, you aren't the strongest in the village" he scowled "that's considered to be my brother" he added under his breath "but not for long." He smirked, his plan, if he was successful would make him stronger than his brother, and finally allow him to surpass him once and for all. His only regret was that his parents would not be able to see since his father was in prison and his mother was locked up in a mental facility. "Besides Kakashi had already taken out one of the hearts by the time you got there, and you're not the only one to take out an Akatsuki, I took out Deidara, and Sakura took down Sasori."

Naruto whined "But Sakura had Chio-baa-chan with her, and you had your brother with you, I took down _two_ members, and one of them _was_ by myself." Naruto practically began hyperventilating "that's it! I just have to defeat teme's older brother and then the council and Tsunade-baa-chan are bound to pick me! Ne ne teme, what's your brothers weakness?" He looked over at Sasuke, his eyes begging.

"Dobe, you think you could defeat my brother? You can't even beat me" Sasuke snorted "They might as well make _me_ Hokage after _I_ defeat him."

"Hey!" Naruto screamed indignantly "Teme, you wouldn't even last ten _minutes_ with your brother, and you'll _never_ become Hokage while I'm alive 'tebbayo!"

"Oh really? We'll see about that!" Sasuke was angry, so angry that without a single thought for his actions he launched himself in a very Naruto like fashion straight at aforementioned blonde. And instantly a battle was born…

***Itachi***

The sun was practically hidden in what was now dubbed 'Ground Zero' not even with his sharingan could he see anything. His newest recruit, Huuga Neji, was having a difficult time locking onto Naruto and Sasuke's location, but it wasn't from lack of trying. Every second that he imagined he caught a glimpse of them they would vanish into a puff of smoke, appearing elsewhere indicating the use of kage-bunshin. Neji was becoming as quickly frustrated as Itachi.

"Taisho, I have lost their location again" Neji sighed "They're just too fast, if I could clear up some of the debris, maybe you could use your sharingan to locate them" Itachi merely nodded. Something needed to be done, the chaos was overwhelming, and the pure killing intent in the air, he shook his head, was almost too much for any seasoned fighter to handle.

"Do what you must, try and locate the original pair" If he had anything to go on it was that these two were the biggest fools in the village, and having as much talent as they did, it wasn't a good combination. How one of the biggest pranksters had managed to become so strong was anyone's guess, but how that gave him an advantage was even more mysterious. He hadn't been entirely convinced in Tsunade-sama's decision to let Naruto go to train with the sages, but it had come in handy with the large scale attack that Akatsuki launched two months previously. But what he did with that power now, he shook his head disapprovingly, was nothing short of abuse. And his own brother! How Sasuke could behave that way, he supposed it was because of the slapdash way he had been raised, what with the failed coupe that resulted in his fathers imprisonment and his mothers mental collapse shortly after, he had every right to be somewhat troubled. But enough was enough, Sasuke and Naruto had crossed the line this time, and in this case it would cost them dearly.

***Naruto And Sasuke***

Even though the sweat dripped off their bodies in torrents, even though they were both panting, even though they were both running towards chakra exhaustion, they both refused to give up. Naruto and Sasuke refused to admit defeat to each other, and they didn't want to tie either, clone after clone, pairs shattered as Sasuke attempted his chidori again and Naruto entered into Sage mode for the fifth time, they were both tired, but refused to show weakness. They were so engrossed in their battle that neither noticed the presence of two extra chakra signatures, if they had noticed, they would have probably foregone their pitiful squabble and gone for the attack. But they remained completely oblivious to their surroundings, and even when the smoke cleared and the damage could be seen did they not notice. They didn't notice as every set of clones around them disappeared into nothingness, they didn't even notice when two people pulled them struggling apart, all they were focused on was trying to kill each other.

"Enough" a firm monotonous voice commanded, instantly Naruto and Sasuke stopped fighting their captors and noticed the now three people on the scene. The atmosphere change was instant. Both boys struggled harder than ever against their captors to try and attack the raven haired male that stood in front of them, Naruto elbowed Neji hard in the ribs, and Sakura, who had just arrived moments earlier earned a hard kick to the shin. Itachi approached cautiously "Sasuke" he tapped him hard in the forehead "what has gotten into you?" Sasuke looked up at his brother, face livid. "Which one of you started this?" Naruto instantly pointed at Sasuke, Sasuke pointed at Naruto. Itachi sighed and produced in rapid motion a set of hand seals that plunged both of the boys into a genjutsu. Focusing on the most recent memories he discovered the truth and became instantly disappointed in his little brother. "Sasuke, for you to behave so recklessly over something so trivial your punishment…"

"Will be harsh as deemed by myself." Tsunade was marching over the uneven ground creating cracks in the broken rock as she approached. "What the _hell_ were you two _thinking!_" She looked down at the two in front of her "Do you know how much _damage_ you've caused! Half of the village is panic stricken believing that the next ninja war is occurring right _now!_" Tsunade was red in the face with anger "What the _hell_ am I supposed to tell them 'no, no there's no war, it was just two _idiots_ making all the ruckus' you Sasuke, _you_ of all people should _know_ better than to act like _this_" she hissed motioning her hand around at the destruction. "And _you_" she pointed at Naruto "this is _exactly _why you can't become the Hokage yet!" Naruto sputtered looking horror stricken

"So it's _true_ no! teme's brother _can't_ be the next Hokage" he began whining in earnest "It's supposed to be _me_, me, not _him_" Itachi found this highly amusing, Tsunade did not. She walked over to him and wrenched him out of Neji's hold.

"The only reason why he" she pointed at Itachi "is being considered for Hokage is because _he_ doesn't get into unnecessary fights! _he_ doesn't destroy training grounds on a _daily_ basis!" Naruto shrunk under her gaze "And _he_ doesn't create _obscene_ jutsu's every other day!" She screeched at Naruto "You'll be lucky if I don't send you back to the academy for the rest of your life!" her anger was far from abated, so she did what only an angry Hokage had the right to do, she flicked Naruto, _hard_, in the forehead, making sure to release him so that he would go flying. She then turned to Sasuke who paled "and don't think you're getting off easily Uchiha" she glared at him "you _and_ Naruto _both_ owe the village an apology, which will be delivered _tomorrow_, and you will both be banned from the mission roster for a month _minimum_, the rest of your punishment is for your brother to dictate. I expect within that month you set to cleaning this place up, if it's not finished by then, then you will stay off the roster until it is complete, finishing early will not get you off the hook. Your friends are not allowed to help, but they can watch you work" she added smugly "and enjoy your punishment. Now, Sakura hand Sasuke to his brother, Neji, go pick up Naruto. Dismissed." Tsunade walked away leaving a very horrified Sasuke struggling as Sakura took him over to his brother.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun stop fighting alright? You've depleted your chakra levels so low that I'm surprised you haven't passed out." She whacked him upside the head "You baka"

"Here, I'll take him" Itachi bent down to put his arms under Sasuke's knees, Sasuke groaned at the embarrassing position this would put him in, but he was just too tired to fight back. Itachi took him fully into his arms bridal style and looked him sternly in the face "don't think I will go easily on you because you are my brother." Sasuke sighed, he knew it all to well, the next month of punishment would be hell. He looked up from his brothers arms in time to see Neji carrying Naruto over his shoulder, and Naruto's horrified face as he came to, only to become aware of the fact that someone was touching his ass. Sasuke chuckled a sleepy light chuckle before welcoming the darkness to pillow over his eyes.

***Present Day Naruto***

He was sore as hell from the experience from the other day, waking up had been no fun task, but he needed to come up with some stupid _apology_ to the people, sheesh it hadn't even been that _bad_ of a mess, yet the whole village was complaining, how had he Uzumaki Naruto gone from being the village hero to being the village idiot again. It was just wrong. And that speech, that speech! What was he supposed to say, what was he supposed to do? And that was why he was walking all the way to the Uchiha compound, feeling stabbing pains with every step he took, if it weren't for the fact that he needed teme's help, he would never have gone so far, especially since the ceremony to the people was at the tower (which was located very conveniently near his apartment). He sighed as he kicked a can that was lying in the street, the stupid compound was all the way at the far edge of the village, and since he was being monitored (by some very cautious Anbu) he didn't dare trying to use chakra, even if it could land him in the hospital, there would be no way Tsunade-baa-chan would let him miss this.

"What the hell will I do" Naruto whispered to himself, out of everything he had ever done, every piece of property he had ever defaced, this was the first time he'd been forced to apologize to the public. And it all started because of teme, and his stupid older brother. He was wrong for getting so worked up, but it just agitated him so greatly the thought of having to sit through _another_ Hokage before he could finally get the title like his father. "'Tou-san, what would you have done?" The trees were becoming thicker in the distance and the signs were becoming more apparent as he found himself quickly approaching the Uchiha compound, there were so few Uchiha left, he had heard rumors that a lot of them were imprisoned, some were tried as criminals and executed, but he never believed them until the first time he had gone to the place, it felt so barren, even with the few children running around and one or two women merrily chatting, it was cold.

He was nearing his destination, the house was almost visible from where he stood, hopefully teme's brother wouldn't think much of it, but there might have been orders to keep them apart. In hindsight he would have never _really_ hurt Sasuke, sure he might rough him up, but in the end, teme was like his _brother_, and something like that could never be damaged, even by something as big as what had just happened. He took a deep breath in, his breathing becoming ragged as he approached the house, teme he could face at any time, but his brother was _scary_, and unfortunately for him, he had to get passed one to get to the other. Sighing he stood in frond of the large doors and ever so lightly knocked. Of course he was there in an instant.

"May I help you Naruto-kun?" There was a slight coldness in the greeting that made Naruto shudder.

"Can I speak with teme?" his voice shook with the effort of speaking, his terror beginning to overpower his wits.

"I'm not sure that would be wise, after all this could be an excuse to destroy my house" He motioned his free hand around "or another chance to fight Sasuke, or myself" he looked slyly at Naruto "which is it?"

"None." His voice cracked "I need to talk to him about the speech" he finished in a weak voice. Itachi as if surveying him for the hint of a lie nodded and stepped aside motioning Naruto to enter.

"Beware if you misbehave in my house, you will face horrible consequences" Itachi said darkly. Naruto swallowed hard as he stepped out of his shoes and into his worst nightmare.

His feet were like lead, but the cooling affects of the wooden floor was slightly relaxing to him. Having teme's brother shadowing his every step was even creepier, the only sound coming from him was the ice in his drink, not even his steps registered on the hard wood. The house was eerily quiet, quiet until Naruto thought he heard a muffled scream. Deciding that it couldn't be possible and that teme's brother could be playing tricks on him, he tried to check for genjutsu. When he was unable to detect a technique he decided that it had to be something else. His speed unconsciously increased as he moved closer to teme's room, he didn't know why but something was wrong here, very wrong. He arrived with no more sounds, and with one gesture from Itachi he swept himself into Sasuke's room and closed the door. What he saw however made him nearly faint on the spot.

Sasuke had his hand down the front of his pants…

And he had a hold of something…

"Oh shit"

***Present Day Sasuke***

The second they had gotten home the night before was the moment that Sasuke got the lecture of a lifetime, first and foremost Itachi told him how disappointed he was in his behavior, second he went on about rules and regulations, this wasn't the way you were raised, etcetera, etcetera. He wasn't allowed to have his passed out time until past midnight when his brother left him with a warning.

"Your _punishment_ will begin tomorrow, as for what it is, I won't tell you. Good night _Sasuke_"

That had left Sasuke curled up in a fetal position for hours unable to sleep. Unfortunately when his brother had come in to wake him up he was still in that position.

"Ungh, what time is it" Sasuke muttered into his pillow.

"It is seven forty five, you have fifteen minutes until you need to make that speech" Sasuke bolted up in bed, he didn't have a clue of what he would say. If he was lucky (and he doubted that) dobe would have thought up something to say, if not, then they would both be screwed. He became instantly flustered, and paid no mind to his brother, he would have time for that later, but he needed to think of something to say. A cool wet _something_ touched his forehead "You look warm, perhaps you need some cooling down?" Sasuke stood up and pushed past his brother who grabbed him instantly "here, perhaps this will help" and without warning, without warrant, Itachi grabbed an ice-cube and shoved it _down his pants_. He muffled his scream just in time before anyone heard. Then his brother vanished.

Sasuke was very focused on getting that damn ice-cube out, so focused that he never heard a sound, and just when he got it and triumphantly looked up, there was a thunk and on the floor was Naruto, passed out with an extremely red face. Sasuke realized exactly where his hand was and the vicinity of which that ice-cube was, he instantly turned tomato red and withdrew his hand as though it was on fire.

"ITACHI!"

And walking down the hall chuckling as he quietly took a sip of his ice cold drink was Uchiha Itachi, congratulating himself on another punishment well done…

**So what do you think? I've never really done a full one shot before, I could have continued, but I thought it ending here was quite appropriate. Sorry it took so long to get to the punch line.**

**As for my other stories: I still might finish one of them, but the other I might just re-write. I just fell out of love with the twilight series when I read The Darkest Powers, and other really awesome books. I'll try and finish it for the people, but I wouldn't expect anything else twilight unless it's crack, like the movie Vampires Suck. I think I've improved immensely on my writing since high school. I also have pages of ideas that I might work on if I get time this summer, but for now, here's something.**

**If I do write more oneshots I might write them on Kuroshitsuji, possibly 07 Ghost, and more Naruto (which I do have another pure crack one that I'll hopefully finish and save for the holidays).**

**If I am requested to do so I may do some background information on this specific Naruto-verse.**

**Please review, even if it's to say it sucks.**


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